Fullmetal Loves Wicked
by StarliteBaby
Summary: Ed meets Roy's little sister, Elir. Ed and Elir fall in love. Elir helps the Elric brothers on their journey. But does she have ulterior motives?Combined anime/mangaverse. Pairings: Ed/OC, Royai, Havoc/OC, and eventually AL/OC
1. Chapter 1

Hey all, this is the first chapter of my epic _Fullmetal Alchemist_ story.

This is my first FMA fic, so please be kind.

I own nothing but my original characters and the original towns. I have borrowed a few passages directly from the anime. You'll notice that I have changed some things around, like where some of the characters are from. Havoc is one of those characters, so please don't send me flames saying, "He's from the east...." I know that. I have read up to volume 18. I have also read scans of later chapters. So without further ado...

Oh wait--one more thing... This story is combined manga- and anime-verse. It starts off in a flashback form... kinda sorta. Rated M, for language, some mature themes, sexual references and some citrus later.

CHAPTER ONE

Roy Mustang looked down and saw what he had done. He couldn't believe that he had done that. But it was right in front of his face so he couldn't deny it. But he was just following orders. How could anything be so bad. He turned his gun onto himself. _This is the only way_, he told himself.

"Don't," said a voice. It was Doctor Marcoh. "It was your orders, you did as you were told."

"Yes," said Roy. "But they were innocent. What did they do? They just wanted to help people."

"Nothing," said Marcoh. "Instead of taking your own life, why don't you concentrate on getting on position in the military where you won't have to follow orders? If I run, will you keep quiet about it and let me escape?"

Roy nodded and accepted the advice as Marcoh ran away.

"Did you think of your sister?" said a voice coming from behind the young man. It was Maes Hughes, Roy's best friend.

"Elir," said Roy. "No, I didn't think of her at that moment."

"But are you thinking about her now?" asked Hughes.

"Yeah. I am now. And to think that I almost killed myself, when I'm all she has in the world. Well, biologically anyway. And she's only a child," said Roy.

"I'll help you in getting to that goal of a position where you don't have to follow ludicrous orders. I'll assist you no matter what it takes. I'll stay one rank below you and support you to the top," said Hughes.

"Thanks Hughes," said Roy.

Just then a young girl came running in. "Roy!" She cried. "Bro, look what I can do!"

"Hi El," said Roy. "What can you do?"

El said nothing, but she clapped her hands and broke one of the Rockbells' makeshift patient beds using alchemy.

"Alchemy without a transmutation circle?" asked Hughes.

"That's supposed to be impossible," said Roy.

"Apparently it's not impossilable," said El. "Because I can do it."

"Are you sure it isn't a fluke?" asked Roy.

"No. It's not a fluke. I did six times already," said El.

As Roy looked at his sister, with her autumn brown pigtails and mismatched socks, he realized how much he loved her. He was the only real family she had in the world since their parents had died years ago. They had been adopted by a woman who ran a bar/host club in Central, but Roy had been the one to raise his sister. He was glad he had been talked out of commiting suicide: how could he leave Elir all alone? He held out his arms and knelt down to hug her. El was thirteen years old, and only 4'11". Her hazel eyes fell upon the gun that Roy had dropped, and then her eyes fell on the lifeless bodies of the Rockbells. She knew what Roy had done but she said nothing. She knew he had been following orders. She hugged him tighter.

"You should take the test, El," said Hughes.

"Which test?" asked El, still hugging her brother.

"The State Alchemist Exam," said Roy.

"You think they'd let me take it? I'm only 13 years old," said El.

"Well, if they don't let you take the test, I'll get in their faces and then they will," said Roy.

Upon hearing that El could do alchemy without a transmutation circle, they let her take the test, and she passed with flying colors. Roy achieved the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. And Hughes did as he promised and achieved the rank of Major, one rank below Roy's. Elir was assigned to report to Major Hughes, but Roy was allowed to give her missions as he pleased.

Three days after passing the test, El was called into Hughes' office. Her brother was there as well.

"Hiya," she said, only half serious. Roy jokingly raised an eyebrow at his little sister. She returned it with a wink.

"El," said Hughes. "I called you in here because I have received your offical state alchemist title."

"Really?" said El. "That's cool."

Hughes handed El a manilla folder. El opened it and read the file out loud: "State Alchemist Elir Mustang will now and forever be known as the 'Wicked Alchemist.'" Elir handed the folder back to Hughes. "Wicked? Is he mispronouncing 'wiccan' and being an asshole, or is he ignorant and he thinks I am a satanic worshipper?"

"Perhaps neither..." said Roy. "Maybe it's just a play on words. Wicked-wiccian...."

"Maybe," said El. "Who knows, Roy?"

"Exactly--who knows?" said Hughes, although he quickly changed the subject back to business. "Since you are the first female state alchemist, and you never see a girl with a pocket watch, we improvised."

Hughes handed El what looked like a locket engraved with the President's decal. When she opened it, however, it was, in fact, a watch.

"Very nice," she said, putting on.

Elir Mustang walked out of the office a few moments later, not only with a watch on a necklace and a new title but with her first mission as well. She hopped a train going south toward Geneva. Geneva was the city next to the town of Maladane, where El and Roy had grown up.

_Six years later....._

Author's note: I'm skipping ahead....this takes place right at the end of episode 13 of the anime, which happens to be one of my favorites.

"After all the information the Colonel gave us on Marcoh, we can't ask him to keep this little guy, too. Equivalent exchange--we'd end up owing too much," said a young blonde boy.

"You're right, brother. I just wish we could keep him," said his metal companion.

"You guys need someone to take a cat?" asked a young woman, sticking her head out the window of her apartment.

The two nodded. The young woman disapeared from the window. Moments later she was outside, standing before them.

"I'll take the cat," she said. "I like cats."

"Really.....?" asked the armored one, looking delighted.

"Yes. I love cats," she said. "I'm surprised you were trying to get the colonel to take it. He's really not a cat person. He's more of a dog person."

"Oh," said the armored one.

"I LOVE DOGS! THEY FOLLOW THEIR MASTERS' COMMANDS ABOVE ALL ELSE. BE A JERK TO THEM AND THEY DON'T COMPLAIN AND THEY NEVER ONCE BEG FOR A PAY CHECK!!!!!!!!" The woman cried, doing a frighteningly good imitation of Colonel Mustang.

The two boys looked at her in awe.

"Wow," said the one in the armor. "You sounded just like him. Didn't she brother?"

The smaller blonde boy nodded.

"Thanks. Kinda easy when you see him everyday," she said.

The two boys looked confused. This young woman couldn't be a military officer, could she? They had never seen her at Eastern Headquarters.

"I'm his sister," she added. "Elir Mustang."

"Oh," said the one in the armor. "I'm Alphonse, by the way. Alphonse Elric."

"Nice to meet you, Alphonse."

"Nice to meet you too, Elir," said Alphonse.

"You can call me, El. Everyone does," said Elir. "The guy with you is your older brother, right?"

"Yeah," said the blonde one. "I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you two," said Elir. "By the way, I'm state alchemist too."

"What's your tittle?" asked Alphonse.

"The Wicked Alchemist. Don't worry I'm not evil or anything. I think it was just a play on words. Bradly was trying to be funny... I think. wicked-wiccian."

"Wiccan?" repeated Edward.

"Yes. I am wiccan," said El.

"Oh cool," said Alphonse. "We should get going brother."

"Yeah," said Ed.

"Thank you for taking the cat, El," said Alphonse. "It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too," Elir called after them.


	2. Chapter 2

Elir Mustang was a sharp girl. She knew before Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes that the woman following him was not Lt. Ross, as he thought. Elir, who was called El, waited behind the phone booth that Hughes was using. El figured that Hughes would catch on soon.

"Yeah, you're right," said Hughes. "But first there is something I would like to bring up with you. Lt. Ross has a mole underneath her left eye."

"Oh, is that so," said the imposter Lt. Ross. "How careless of me."

She put the mole where it should be.

"That's an amazing talent," said Hughes.

He slashed her neck with a blade in his hand.

"I hope you'll forgive me, but I got a wife and kid waiting for me back home."

"Well then, perhaps this is a more fitting end," said the imposter.

El thought quickly...._Humucli....shape shifter?....ENVY!!!!!_

Envy then transformed into Hughes' wife holding a gun. Hughes whipped around, shocked. Elir jumped between them. She quickly clapped her hands, using what alchemy she knew, to move the ground underneath Envy, sending Envy flying as well as knocking the gun away.

"El?" said Hughes. "You saved my life."

"Well, I can't let you die, can I, Hughes? What kind of friend would I be if I did that? Besides my brother would kill me if he found out I was here, when you could have died, and didn't do anything about it," said El. "But it isn't safe here. Go home, okay. I'll take care of Envy if he comes back. On second thought, I'd better walk with you."

"Good idea," said Hughes. "Envy is that shapeshifter that Ed mentioned."

"Yes, Envy is a humonculi that can morph into anyone. Not really sure if it's male or female, but Envy was created by an unknown alchemist," said El.

"Have you created any?" asked Hughes.

"I don't actually know... but that's a story for another time," said El.

Really early the next morning, El was called by the real Lt. Ross to Hughes' office. Her brother and Lt. Hawkeye were there. Her brother was Colonel Roy Mustang. He was also known as the Flame Alchemist. El herself was called the Wicked Alchemist. She had qualifed to be a state alchemist at the age of thirteen, making her the youngest state alchemist until Edward Elric qualified at age twelve.

"You wanted to see me?" asked El.

"Yeah," said Roy. "Sit down."

"Okay," said El, taking a seat.

"I heard what happened last night, El. I have a question. though."

"Yes," said El.

"Did you find out what Envy and the other humonculi are up to?"

"No. I thought it better to make sure Lt. Colonel Hughes was safe before I questioned Envy."

"Good choice," said Roy. "Well anyway, I have a mission for you."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Okay let's hear it."

"I need you to go find the Elric brothers and bring them back here to Central."

"You're kidding me, Roy?"

"No, El. I'm not."

"Why me? Why not send major Armstrong?"

"'Cause you have something they want."

"The Philospher's Stone?"

"Exactly."

"And honestly, I think Edward and Alphonse are a little weirded out by the Major," said Hawkeye.

"Who isn't, Lieutenant?" said Elir.

"True," said Hawkeye.

"It's not happening, Roy," said Elir.

"What do you mean not happening?" asked Roy.

"I mean it's not happening, Roy. I am not giving them my Philospher's Stone. I have to trust them first."

"It won't be hard for them to earn your trust. You trust easily, El."

"No, I really don't trust that easily."

"Yes you do. You trust me and Havoc, Hughes and Hawkeye."

"In order for someone to earn my trust I have to love them, and I love you because you're my brother, and Havoc and Hughes because they're your best friends, and I've known them as long as I can remember, and Hawkeye 'cause she's one of my best friends and she's like a sister to me. But in order for the Elric brothers to earn my trust, I would have to be in love...."

"Looks like you'll just have to fall in love with Ed, then," said Sergeant Bloch, walking into the room.

"Eaiser said then done, Bloch." said Roy. "El doesn't fall in love easily."

"That maybe true but you're always the first one to start flirting, aren't you El?" asked Bloch.

"You...." said El.

"That would be cute," said Hughes. "If you and Ed fell in love, El."

"Two pipsqueaks in love," said Bloch.

"Don't call me a pipsqueak, Bloch," said El, getting angry.

"Okay, shorty," said Bloch.

He was clearly trying to piss El off. and it was working.

"Don't call me shorty!" she said.

"Right midget."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Elir growled.

"What? Did you say something, shrimp?"

"Arghghhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"How's the weather down there?"

El stood up; she had enough. She clapped her hands, using alchemy to break the chair Bloch was sitting on.

"Ouch!" said Bloch.

"You're gonna fix that right, El?" asked Hughes.

"Yeah, sure, fine."

"Why did you do that, El?" Bloch asked.

"I got angry. You know better then to piss me off, Bloch. You know how much I hate the short comments."

"Yeah, I know," said Bloch. "But it's funny to mess with you."

"El, fix Maes' chair and take the misson," said Roy.

"What was the mission?" asked Bloch, who was still sitting on the floor on the now legless chair.

"Go find the Elric brothers and bring them back to Central," said El, motioning for the Sergeant to get up so she could fix the chair.

He didn't move. "I suggest you move, Sergeant, unless you want to become one with the chair."

Bloch stood. El clapped her hands and fixed the chair. The Sergeant sat back down. El turned on her heel and got ready to leave.

"Fine. I'll take the mission, Roy. But next time...."

"I know next time I won't be so lucky," said Roy, tossing an envelope El's way. "Train tickets."

"Ah ok." said El, catching it.

"Before you leave, there is more that we need to discuss," said Roy.

"What?! There's more?" asked Elir.

_I should have known there'd be more, _she thought.

"Let me guess: you want me to bring back Winry as well and hold her hostage in my apartment?"

"No not that," said Hughes. "That's not necessary. Lt. Hawkeye, could you go get ? She needs to hear this too."

Hawkeye nodded and left the room.

"Again I want to thank you for last night, El," said Hughes.

"It was no problem," El repiled. "As I said last night, I couldn't let you die. I mean you have a wife and adorable little girl." Elir winked. "And she is only four years old. What would she do without her Daddy?"

Once Lt. Hawkeye came back with Lt. Ross. Things were back to business.

"Because of anticpated complecations," said Roy. "We are going to have fake Maes' death."

"Understandable," said El.

"El, you are not to tell the Elric brothers or Miss Rockbell of this," said Lt.

Hawkeye.

El nodded.

"Nobody but us, and Gracia and Elicia know that Maes is alive. It was anounced to the military last night after you got him home," said Roy. "Lt Ross was able to sneak him in the office this morning. But tonight we will be moving him into hiding. His family will acompany him tonight, so they can see where he will be hiding. They will only be allowed to visit him at night."

El nodded.

"I will be in contact with Roy as an informant," said Hughes. "Under the alias of Ace Andrews."

El nodded. She was then dismissed.

***************************************

El got in her car and drove it to the Central train station. She was hoping to find the Elric brothers sooner rather than later. She was a busy young woman. She had things to do.

El hopped on the train to Rush Valley. She had heard that Winry Rockbell, who was Edward's automail, was traveling with them, and figured they would head for Rush Valley. Just a hunch.

She found them at a restaurant in Rush Valley. Al recongized her and waved her over. El walked over.

"Hello, Alphonse, Edward," she said.

"Do you guys know her?" asked Winry.

"Yeah," said Edward.

"Elir Mustang," said El, holding out her hand to Winry.

"Are you related to..." Winry started.

"Colonel Mustang?" El finished.

"Yeah" said Winry.

"Yes, I'm his sister."

"Oh," said Winry.

"What's that noise?" asked Ed.

El reached into her purse. "It's my cellphone," she said.

"Hello," she said answering.

"_El, sorry about calling your cell phone, but we can't get a hold of the Colonel..."_

_"_He's in Central."

"_We know that much..."_

"Did you try his cellphone, Fuery?"

"_He has a cellphone?"_

"Yes, he has a cellphone. I'll give you the number. Do you have a pen and paper."

"_Yeah. I'm ready."_

Elir gave Fuery her brother's cellphone number. He thanked her and hung up.

"Sorry about that, guys," said El, putting away her cellphone.

"It's okay," said Winry. "Why don't you join us?"

"Okay," said El. She sat down in an empty seat at the table, and smiled.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Originally, it was Havoc messing with El. But then I realized that Havoc didn't leave East City. So then I thought that Bloch might mess with her as well. And yes, I am aware that they don't have cellphones in the FMA world. But I'm taking creative license with my story. Please review!!!!!

**PREVIEW**

Gracia is going to tell her daughter that she is going to have to pretend that Daddy is dead for a little while, and that Daddy is going into hiding, although they will be able to visit him. There will be some Royai fluff, some Maes and Gracia fluff, and a lot of Elicia cutness. Also Al and Ed will have a conversation in which the following questions will be answered:

1. Why is Edward so quiet around Elir?

2. Does Edward have a crush on Elir?

3. Will Edward ask Elir out and then later ask her to be his girlfriend?


	3. Chapter 3

Ed remained quiet throughout lunch. Al and Winry looked a little worried.

Later that night, Elir put two hotel rooms on her credit card. El called her brother from her cellphone in the room that she was sharing with Winry. El talked mostly in code. Winry also recongized some of the words El said as Xingnese.

"You speak Xingnese?" Winry asked, after El hung up the phone.

"A little. I know a few words and pharses," said El. "I told my brother to shut up but I also gave him a coded message."

"And what was that message? But let me guess, you can't tell me, right?" Winry asked.

"If I told you I would have to kill you," said El. "Or I could tell you if you joined the military and ended up in my brother's unit, but fat chance that's going to happen, right?"

"Yeah, fat chance," said Winry flopping down on the bed.

Elir laughed, taking her compact makeup mirror from her purse, and checking her makeup. Today Elir had opted for one of her less gothic looks. But she was about to make it more gothic.

"Hey, Winry?"

"Yeah."

"You ever been clubbing?"

"No, I live in the middle of nowhere."

"No, you don't, Risembool is rural but it's not the middle of nowhere. Maladane is the middle of absoulute fuckin' nowhere. That's where Roy and I grew up. Lt. Colonel Hughes grew up there too. Right across the street from us. And Lt. Havoc grew up in the house directly behind us. There's some small woods separating our houses. But you've never been to a club before, oh you haven't lived. There is a great goth club here in Rush Valley. You wanna go?"

"Sure, but what's a goth?"

"Me..." Elir laughed, "No, someone who is into the darker side of the world."

"So gloomy, depressed and suicidal people?"

"No, not at all, Winry. The people who claim to be goths that are depressed and suicidal all the time are just posers. True goths are deep and thoughtful people. And truly some of the nicest people you may ever met. We are just a little more interested in things that are dark and macabre, than the average person. Goths feel deeply and express it using creative outlets. And we don't all worship Satan. Some of us are pagans and Wiccans. Some of us are Christans, even Catholics."

"So you say that you're a goth?"

"Yes."

"How do you express your feelings creatively?"

"I draw, and I write short stories and sometimes songs, about how I feel."

"And you don't worship Satan?"

"No, I am a Wiccan."

"Oh okay. Just checking, although I totally don't get that vibe from you."

"So you wanna go?"

"Well, it's not really my scene, and don't you have to be like 18 to get in?"

"How old are you?"

"16."

"Do you wanna go or not? I know the owner, it's cool, I can get you in, if you wanna go."

"No, that's okay. I'm not really into the whole clubbing scene."

"Okay, suit yourself."

***************

"Brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so quiet around El? You're never quiet."

"I guess I think she's pretty, okay?"

"I think you have a crush on her, brother."

"So what if I do, Alphonse?"

"Are you going to ask her out?"

"Maybe, I will. Do you think she'd say yes?"

"I don't know, brother."

"Okay. The truth?"

"Yeah."

"I do have a crush on her. I think she's really pretty. And I want to ask her out but I've asked a girl out so I don't know how."

"Maybe you should ask the Colonel for advice?"

"I'M NOT ASKING THAT BASTARD FOR ANYTHING! ESPECIALLY NOT HOW TO ASK OUT HIS SISTER!!!!!!!!"

"Okay, brother...it was just a sugestion."

Ed still looked a little miffed when someone knocked on the door. Alphonse opened the door. It was Winry.

"What is it, Winry? Could you hear brother, next door?"

"I heard something, that I thought was Ed, yelling about something..." said Winry.

"I was saying that I'm not going to ask that bastard Colonel with a God complex how to ask out a girl, espcially if the girl that I want to ask out is his sister," said Ed.

"Okay," said Winry.

***********************

Gracia sat her four year old daughter, Elicia, down on the couch. And then sat down on the couch herself.

"Elicia..." said Gracia.

"Yes, Mommy," said the four year old.

"Sweetie, I know this is going to be hard for you, but you and I are going to have to pretend that Daddy is dead for a while."

"Why?" asked the little girl.

"Because Daddy has to go into hiding, honey. There are some bad people that want Daddy dead. One of those bad people tired to kill Daddy, last night. Auntie El was there and she was able to save Daddy's life, but these people will try again to hurt him."

"But Daddy said he had to go back to his office. Isn't Daddy safe there?"

"Yes, sweetie, Daddy is safe in his office. But he left his office to call Uncle Roy from an outside line, because he thought the bad people may be bugging the military lines. Do you understand, honey?"

"Will we be able to see, Daddy?"

"Yes. But only at night."

"Okay," said the little girl. "I understand."

There was a long pause. And then the little girl spoke again.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

"The military is going to have to hold a funeral for Daddy, right?"

"Yes, Baby."

"Should I pretend I don't understand at the funeral?"

"Well to a certain degree. You shouldn't let on that you know that Daddy isn't really dead. So yes, pretend you don't understand."

***********

The next morning at the funeral, Elicia did a great job of pretending that she did not understand, the situtation. She was a wonderful little actress.

"Mommy, why?" she had asked Gracia. "Mommy why are they burying, Daddy?!"

"He's gone, Baby." Gracia had said, hugging her daughter tightly.

"No, Daddy has to do his work, he told me. If these people bury him, he can't do it when he wakes up..."

Gracia hugged her daughter tighter.

"Daddy! Daddy wake up!" Elicia cried.

"Sir," said a voice in Roy's ear. He knew instantly that it was Lt. Hawkeye. "Sir, wake up," she said, again.

"I'm awake," Roy said groggily. "How long was I asleep, Luietenant?"

"Just a few minutes, I think."

"How long..." Roy started to say, but then he realized that she had stopped driving and the van was parked, across the street from their desination.

"Hey, Roy!" came a voice from the back seat.

"Yeah, Maes?"

"The plan isn't to hide me in this van, right?"

"No, the plan is to hide you in one of the safe houses below the bar across the street."

"That's what I thought," said Maes. "So what are we waiting for?"

"We're waiting for the coast to be clear, you're suppossed to be dead, Maes, remember?"

"Right. I'm dead."

"I believe the coast is clear now, sir," said Hawkeye.

The trio exited the van and went to into the bar. Roy was immedialetly jumped on by a blonde girl in a tight black dress.

"Hi Roy!" she cried.

"Hi, Vanessa," said Roy, greeting her a little less enthusiastically. "Where's Christmas?"

"Upstairs. I'll call her," said Vanessa. She picked up a phone and dialed an extension. "Madame Christmas, your son is here. and he's being antisocial again."

Madame Christmas replied that she would be down in a minute.

A minute later, she was leading Roy, Riza and Maes down to the safe houses beneath her bar.

"So you do remember Maes, right?" asked Roy.

"Of course, Roy. How could I forget," said Madame Christmas. "How you been, Maes?"

"Great!" said Maes. "Except for the fact that I am supposedly dead. I'm great!"

"You seem alive to me, Maes," said Christmas. "I'm just kidding, Roy, I know what's going on."

*******************

"Well I think you'll have everything you need down here, Maes. Food, water, a telephone. Don't hestiate to call me or one of the girls if there is anything else you need," said Christmas, placing a latern on the coffee table which was really just a piece of wood held off the floor by a few cinderblocks.

"Thank you, Madame Christmas," said Maes, shaking the woman's hand.

"You're welcome," she said, before headind to the door. She started to leave but then turned around.

"Roy," she asked. "Are you going out the back?"

"Yeah. I was thinking that would be better. I don't wanted to be ambushed by the girls. They'll just beg me to take them out on a date."

"Okay," she said handing him a key. "Lock the back, and why don't you make a copy for Gracia, so she doesn't have to go through the bar. And why don't you keep that one, that way when you don't feel like being, as you put it, 'ambushed,' by the girls, you can still come and visit your friend. And don't worry about me getting into the storage cellar, I have another key to the back in my office."

Roy nodded and she left.

"Roy, don't you guys have an early train to catch tomorrow?"

"No, we're taking the 6:30 train on tuesday morning," said Roy.

"Tomorrow we thought Elicia should spend some time with her uncle Roy, before he goes back to East City," said Hawkeye.

"I think that's a great idea," said Maes. "She barely gets to see you. Although I've noticed that whenever you take her somewhere, Roy, she always comes home bouncing off the walls. Gracia and I were wondering why."

Roy Mustang had the biggest "Oh no, I'm caught!" look on his face, trying to cover his obivous guilt. "I haven't the slightest idea as to why she does that, Maes."

"I think you do, but I'm not going to press the matter," said Maes.

"Alright. Alright," said Roy. "Last time I took her to the amusment park on the boardwalk in South City and I bought her cotton candy."

"I figured that much, Roy," said Maes.

"Whatever," said Roy. "We should get going anyway."

"I'll call you tomorrow night as Ace," said Maes.

Roy nodded, as he left with Lt. Hawkeye.

***************************

Once they got back to the hotel room the two were sharing, Roy kicked off his boots and flopped down on the bed. There was only one bed in the room. It had been the only room avilable when they had checked in. All the hotels were filling fast due to the fact that Amestris' Harvest carnvial was in town. And it would be this week and all next week as well.

They weren't staying at the military hotel, because it had been full. When the carnvial was in town, the military hotel became a Super 8 Motel, and it filled up fast. They had checked into hotel near one of the artsy neighborhoods, deciding to pose as a vacationing couple, since no one there knew who they were. It wasn't a hard charade. Riza often had to pretend she was married to one of the men in the unit on missions. She was used to it.

"I don't know if I can sleep tonight," Riza said coming into the room from the bathroom.

"Same here," said Roy. "So who cares if we don't sleep."

"I know you'll just nap in the office when we get back to East City," she said, lying down on the bed next to him.

"Yeah probably."

He looked over at Riza. She was dressed in her pj's and she had her hair down.

"We should at least try to sleep," she said, crawling under the covers.

Roy nodded. He took off his shirt and crawled under the covers beside her.

"Remember when we were kids, when we'd sit in the living room and watch movies, you'd cuddle up to me and then you'd snap out of it if your father walked into the room?"

"Yes. I rememember. How could I forget that?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think that it's a miracle I remember."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how Havoc sometimes tells me that I'm getting old?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's right. I am getting old."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'll be thirty in May."

"Thirty isn't old, Roy."

"Maybe it isn't but I feel older everyday."

"So do I. I think that's just cause were in the military. My knees haven't been the same since basic training."

"Yeah, and you just turned, what, twenty eight?"

"Yes."

"Riza, I need to tell you something."

"Yes."

"I don't care what anybody else will say about this when and if they find out, but I love you. I have since that day your father caught me kissing you and yelled at me for supposedly corrupting you."

"Corrupting me?"

"Yeah. You were about 13 and a half at the time, and I was sixteen."

"That was right after your parents died, right?"

"Yeah. My Mom and Dad had just died. And Madame Christmas had just adopted me and El. El was only eight years old."

"How did your parents die? I don't remember you telling me."

"I didn't tell you. I don't think I told anybody but Maes. I don't think I wanted to tell you right then, maybe I wasn't ready to. I think I can tell you now if you want to know. Do you want to know?"

She nodded.

"My Mom died in child birth. The baby was stillborn. And my Dad, died a week later, the doctors said he had a heart attack. But if you ask me and El, we'll tell you we think he died of a broken heart, because he couldn't live without our mother."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I love you too, by the way. And I also don't care what people say when and if they find out. Something tells me Maes and Gracia already know we love each other, though."

"I think they do too. Sometimes when Maes tells me to get a wife he vaguely suggests that I should marry you."

"Oh really? Well Gracia sometimes tells me I should get a husband..."

"Does she sometimes suggest that you should marry me?"

"Yes. And Rebecca constantly tells me that I am in denial."

"Denial for what?"

"That I love you. But because of the fraternization laws, I maintain that my relationship with you is strictly professional and it only exceeds that in a manner of friendship, in case Bradley were to over hear the conversation."

"I see. Sounds logical."

"Does it now, Colonel Obivous?"

"Yes."

"Roy, shut up and go to sleep."

"Why should I?"

"'Cause I said."

"Sometimes I wonder who the commanding officer is, here."

"You. I merely make suggestions. You don't have to take them."

"Yeah right. I don't do what you say you jump down my thoart."

"True. But only because I care."

"Only 'cause you care? I thought you loved me?"

"I do. Well, okay, 'cause I love you. Happy now?"

"Yes."

"Goodnight Roy."

"Goodnight, Riza."

*******************

Elir came back from the club a little after midnight. She was surprised to see Winry still up.

"What are you still doing up?" El asked.

"I don't know, I guess I can't sleep and I guess I was into this book," Winry answered. She held out the book she had been reading, _Vampire Interrupted_ by Lynsay Sands.

"I found it on top of your suitcase, I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. I was going to lend that to my friend Lacey, if I saw her tonight at the club, but I called her before I left and she said she had to work late so she wouldn't be able to go to the club tonight. So you are welcome to borrow it for now."

"Oh thanks."

"I honestly didn't think that kind of thing interested you."

"It usually doesn't but I had a feeling you might be traveling with us for a while, and you're obviously into this kind of thing, so we might have something to talk about when Ed and Al go off on their own and do guy things."

"What kind of guy things? Do you mean drink beer and look at boobs? 'Cause I believe Ed and Al are a little young to be drinking beer, well not that Al actually can. But okay, looking at boobs, yeah I could see Ed doing that, cause well I could have sworn he directed a few glances at my chest this afternoon. But honestly if you wanna see guys doing guy things then you ought to observe my brother and Jean Havoc at the Wolf 'n' Whistle Tavern in Central or The Drinking Hole in East City, now that's a sight to behold."

"What do they do that makes it a sight to behold?"

"Well they, drink beer, blech, stare at boobs, you know the usual. But honestly Jean and Roy seem to have very similar taste in women, so sometimes they'll fight over who gets to hit on or ask out a certain girl, and that gets hilarious."

"Oh."

"Am I giving you too much infomation? 'Cause you have that look on your face, ya know like, 'Infomation Overload, There, Girlfriend, Whoa!'"

"No it's not that. But you do talk kinda fast, El."

"Oh you think I talk fast you should hear my friend Danika, now she talks fast."

"Faster than you?"

"Yeah, sometimes I can't even understand her."

"Wow."

As El opened he mouth to speak her cellphone rang. She looked at the caller ID. It was Havoc.

"Why is someone calling you this late?" asked Winry.

"It's Havoc. He knows I'm an insomniac," El said, right before she answered. "Hey, what's up?"

"_Hey El. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"_

"I have all night. I have serious insomnia, remember? Let me guess, you got dumped again, right?"

_"Yeah. How did you know?"_

"I'm physic. No. Honestly, Jean you get dumped every other week or so, it's getting to be like clockwork."

_"Hey! Yeah I know I'm pathetic."_

"You're not pathetic, Jean. You just haven't found the right woman yet."

_"Yeah, well I'm starting to wonder if i'll ever find her."_

"You'll find her. She's out there."

_"Yeah, well...I'm starting to get frustrated."_

"Why did this one dump you?"

_"She said it was my obession with her boobs."_

"I see. Well, some women don't like men obessing over their chest."

_"Well, I know that. Honestly though, I think grabbing a women's boobs should be an accepted form of greeting. You know "Hi, how ya doin'?"--Honk, Honk."_

"Yes, you and every man on this planet, think that should be an accepted form of greeting, but let me be honest with you, Jean. Grabbing a woman's boobs as a form of greeting will just get you and every other man on this planet who tries it, slapped."

_"Yeah, well I know that." _

"But I'll tell ya what, Jean. Next time you see me, you can greet me by grabbing my boobs, and say "Hey El, how ya doin'?" How does that sound?"

_"Yes, that would make me feel better. But, you don't have a problem with that?" _

"No, honestly I don't if it's you. But I also maybe okay with it if grabbing boobs was an accepted form of greeting. I guess I'm not like most women."

_"Well that's true, El. You are diffently not like most women."_

"I think I'm getting a little sleepy. So I'll call you tomorrow or something, 'kay?"

"_Okay. Night, El."_

"Goodnight."

El hung up the phone, and chuckled to herself.

**Author's Note:**

**I had oringally planned for Maes and Gracia to have a chat in this chapter, that didn't happen because this chapter was starting to get kinda long but I know that will happen in the next chapter. **

**Preview**

**Elicia is going to visit her Daddy, and she is going to tell him all about her day with Uncle Roy...**

**The infamous arm wrestling competion and the chase scene with Paninya...**

**And of course Roy and Riza head back to East City!**

**Please read and review. Chapter four should be up in a few weeks, although I start school again next week, so we'll see. **


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Anyway...coming up in this chapter...The infamous arm wrestle competion in Rush Valley. Elicia tells her Daddy about her day with Uncle Roy. Roy and Riza head back to East City. And will learn more about Elir's past.

Disclaimer: (I keep forgetting to do one of these) If I owned FMA, this would not be a fanfic. However, El's song is mine, and also own El, First Lt. Butler, and all other OC's.

____________________________

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Winry squealed, at the automail part in the window.

"And I'm deaf," said El. "That's the fifth automail part she's squealed at this morning."

"Well that's Winry for you," said Al.

"Are we done yet?" El asked.

"Excatly what I was thinking," said Ed.

"Oh, it's so awesome! I have to have it!" cried Winry.

"I'm so bored," said El.

"Yeah. I'm with you," said Ed.

The quartet walked then walked uptown and noticed an automail arm wrestling contest. They watched from the crowd as countless men, and one young woman, were defeated by the champ, a big burly fellow with two large automail arms. Al, Ed and El noticed almost immediaetly that the referee was using alchemy to rig the fights.

"Do we have anymore challengers?" asked the ref. "How about you sir?" he asked Al. "Sure, you look big and strong but how'd you like to prove it?"

"Me...no...Not me," said Al, waving his hands in protest.

"Nah," said the ref. "I couldn't possilably ask this shrimp to take on the champ."

"I'M NOT A SHRIMP!!!!!" Ed spazzed.

"Oh you're a feisty little shrimp aren't you," the ref said. "Looks like you salvaged that automail from the bottom of a scrap heep."

"Alphonse, let go of your brother," Winry said angrily.

"Yes ma'am," Al said putting Ed down.

"EDWARD, IF YOU LOSE, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!" Winry yelled.

***********

"I realized something today, Maes," said Roy.

Roy was dropping off Elicia to visit her daddy.

Gracia would stop by after work, both to visit her husband and pick up her daughter. Gracia was one the two head nurses at the military hospital in Central. She only worked on weekends, and on the days that Elicia went to preschool: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Gracia was supposed to have partipated in the girl's day festivities along with Lt. Ross, Riza and Schiezka, but she had been called into work because the other head nurse had called in sick.

Elicia was now bouncing up and down all around the safe house like a little jumping bean.

"What did you realize today, Roy?" asked Maes. His eyes followed his daughter around the safe house, as she burned off the energy the cotton candy had given her.

"I lost my Scrabble partner."

Maes laughed. Team Scrabble was a big deal in most of the military posts in Amestris. Ever since Roy had been transferred to East City, it wasn't often that Maes and Roy could be Scrabble partners. But now that Maes was supposedly dead, that made things even more difficult.

"That's true," said Maes. "But if you guys transfer to Central, I'm sure Riza will be your partner. That is unless you are planning on transfering Lt. Catalina."

"No," Roy answered. "I don't think I will transfer Catalina. I don't really like her that much. But then again I haven't spent much time with her. And I can't figure out for the life of me why Riza likes her. She's presumptuous, annoying and tactless."

"Riza, probably can't figure out for the life of her why you like me."

"True. Our personalities are quite different. Remember how we met?"

"How could I forget."

~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~

A six year old boy peared out the window at the house across the street. A family was moving in. The house across the street had been empty for years.

"Mom!" the boy yelled. "Someone's moving in across the street!"

"I saw, dear," said the boy's mother. "Mikaela and I were just about to go over and say hi. Do you want come with us, Maes? It looks they have a boy about your age."

"Okay," said Maes.

The mother walked over with her two kids. She greeted, a youngish woman sitting on the porch swing, reading a book.

"Hi, I'm Victoria Hughes. This my daughter Mikaela, and my son, Maes. We live across the street."

"Aurelia Mustang," said the woman on the porch swing. "It's nice to meet you. My husband and son are around here somewhere."

As soon as Victoria opened her mouth to say something, a little boy ran up the stairs to the porch and launched himself into his mother's lap.

"MOM!" he cried.

"Darling, you don't have to yell. I am right here," said Aurelia.

"Okay," said the little boy. He looked about five years old. He had messy black hair and blueish black eyes.

"Honey, these are neighbors from across the street."

The little boy nodded. "This is my son, Roy," Aurelia added to Victoria. "Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea or coffee?"

"That would be nice, thank you," said Victoria.

Roy promptly hopped off his mother's lap and ran to other side of the porch and returned with a piece of chalk in his hand.

"Mikaela, do wanna come with me or stay out her with the boys?" Victoria asked her daughter. Mikaela attached herself to her mother, as she followed Aurelia into the house.

"Coffee or tea?" asked Aurelia, once they were in the kitchen.

"Tea," answered Victoria. "I can't stand coffee."

"You and me both. My husband, Andrew loves coffee. He's not awake unless he has at least three cups a day. And Roy is getting to be more and more like his father everyday. I imagine he'll start drinking coffee in a few years, and he's only five now. How old is Maes?"

"Maes is six. And Mikaela is eight."

"Oh good. I was afraid Roy wouldn't have anyone to play with here. We just moved here from Central. Roy was happy there but there weren't a lot of boys his age in the neighboorhood we lived in. Andrew's younger sister has three little girls who are nine, ten and twevle. Here looks promising. The family behind us has two boys. The little one is a year younger than Roy. I think the older one is six."

"Oh the Havocs?"

"Yeah. The mother's name is Leigh, I think?"

"Yes, her name is Leigh. And her husband's name is James. Their son, Jeremy, is six, and their younger son, Jean, is four."

Outside, Maes and Roy had already hit it off. The two boys had just been sitting on the grass talking. And Roy had alrady forgotten the piece of chalk in his hand.

"What's the piece of chalk for?" Maes asked.

"Oh," said Roy. "I forgot about that."

Roy got up and drew a transmutation circle on the pavement of the driveway, he then placed his hands on the circle, and the pavement shifted from the top of the circle to the end of the driveway.

"Wow, that's cool," said Maes.

~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~

"You were into alchemy even then,Roy," said Maes.

"Yeah," said Roy. "I was but I wasn't any good then."

"Sure you were. That was the coolest thing I think my six-year-old self had ever seen."

Roy laughed.

"Well ulimately we really aren't that different, Maes."

"What do you mean, Roy?"

"As much as I slam the phone down when you tell me to get a wife, I do actually want to get married and have kids someday. Yes, I'm admitting it: I Roy Mustang, want to get married and have kids."

"Kids? More than one?"

"Yeah, I think maybe three."

"Why three?"

"Well my mom wanted three. She almost had three."

Maes nodded, as if to say, "I know."

Elicia then parked herself on Roy's lap and promtly asked: "Why do you look so sad, Uncle Roy?"

"I was just thinking about my parents. But I'm okay, sweetheart. Don't worry."

"Why does thinking about your parents make you sad?"

"Because they died when I was sixteen."

"Elicia, that's enough questions, you don't want to make Uncle Roy, even sadder now, do you?"

"No, I don't Daddy. But Uncle Roy, who took care of you and Aunty El, after your parents died?"

"You know the woman who owns the club that's upstairs?"

"Yeah, Mommy said her name was Madame Christmas."

"Yes and she adopted me and Auntie El, after our parents died."

"Oh. I have one more question, Uncle Roy."

"Shoot."

"Do you love Aunty Riza?"

"Okay. I get it now. Maes, did you put your daughter up to this?"

"No, I swear Roy, she thought of it all on her own!"

"Do you?" Elicia asked again.

"Yes, I love Auntie Riza, very very much."

"So why don't you two get married?"

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Because there's a law against it. The law states that two officers in the same unit can't date, get or be married."

"That's a stupid law."

"I agree whole heartily, Elicia."

"If you love Auntie Riza, you should be able to marry her."

"Again I agree. Although there are two ways around the law."

"Really?! What are they?"

"Well one option would be for one of us or both us to retire from the military. The other is if I transfer Auntie Riza to another unit. But neither of those things are going to happen."

"Why can't you transfer Auntie Riza, to another unit?"

"Because I need her in my unit. She's my bodyguard."

"What's that?"

"She protects me from harm."

"Ok. What's that quacking?"

Roy started searching through the pockets of his jeans, for his cellphone.

"That's my cellphone," said Roy. "Someone's texted me."

Maes nodded.

"It's your wife."

Roy read the text aloud.

_I got held up at work, something about an accident with a gun. Long story. I'll call the phone in the safe house when I'm on my way there. Tell Maes he needs to get a cellphone._

"Accident with a gun?" I hesitate to ask about that," said Maes.

"Yeah," said Roy.

Gracia called a few minutes later. She said she would be there in ten minutes. And true to her word, she was.

"So what happened?" asked Roy.

"Oh, First Lieutenant Butler's girlfriend shot him in the groin," said Gracia. "He claims it was an accident. But Dr. Carter doesn't believe him. He said if it was an accident like Lt. Butler says, his girlfriend would have come to the hospital with him. I have to get the incident report from him tomorrow because he has to be relieved of duty while he recovers. So I'll find out if it was an accident or not."

"My bet is that it wasn't an accident," said Roy. "My thought is that Butler tried to break up with this girl and decided she didn't want him sleeping with anyone else, so she tried to shoot him in the you-know-where, but she missed and shot him in the groin."

"Interesting theory, Roy," said Gracia.

"Yeah. Ya know, Butler seems to have the opposite problem from Havoc. He dumps the girls, the girls don't dump him," said Roy.

Maes and Gracia laughed.

"Who does Butler work under?" asked Maes.

"Haruko, I think," said Roy.

"Well Haruko is stationed in Central, isn't he?" Maes asked, already knowing the answer that his best friend was going to give him.

"Yes, he is," said Roy. "But please make your point, Maes, 'cause I have to go 'cause I need to get some sleep 'cause I have to catch an early train tomorrow."

"Okay. Alright." said Maes. "Play your cards right with Haruko and he may consider transferring you to Central."

"Alright. I get it Maes."

"And find yourself a good wife. Or better yet marry Riza."

"I can't marry Riza, right now. I can't even date her."

Roy got up to leave.

"Can I have a hug before you leave, Uncle Roy?" asked Elicia.

"Of course, sweetheart."

Roy gave his goddaughter a big bear hug.

"Give Auntie Riza a hug from me?" asked Elicia.

"Again of course."

Roy gave a hand gesture to say goodbye to Maes and Gracia, then he left.

"So tell me about your day with Uncle Roy," said Maes. "What did you guys do?"

"We went to the Harvest Carnvial," said Elicia. "Uncle Roy got sick on the teacups. He threw up afterwards in the trashcan."

"Roy threw up?" asked Gracia.

"Yeah!" said Elicia. "He said he was getting too old to be spinning around in teacups."

"Sounds like Roy," said Maes.

"And then we had pizza for lunch! And then..."

"Did you play any games?" asked Gracia.

"Yeah! Uncle Roy won me a bunny rabbit playing darts."

"Yeah? Uncle Roy is good at darts isn't he?" Gracia asked her daughter.

"Yeah," said Elicia. "He said he's better at pool, though."

"That's true," said Maes. "Roy is really good at pool."

"He said he'd teach me when I'm older," Elicia anounced. "Is that alright with you, Daddy?"

"Yes," Said Maes. "I don't mind if he teaches you how to play, as long as he teaches you that hustling is bad."

"What's hustling?" Elicia asked.

"Hustling is something, the you should never ever do, Elicia," said Maes. "It's when you pretend to be bad, so that the other person bets more money on you and then when they lose to you, you take the all the money that they bet."

"That's mean."

"Yeah. It is."

"Does Uncle Roy do that?"

"Sometimes, he does."

"Can I tell him that it's bad, next I see him?"

"Alright if you want to."

"Did you have a good time with Uncle Roy, today, sweetheart?" Gracia asked.

Elicia nodded and began bouncing up and down around the safe house again.

"Uncle Roy bought you cotton candy, didn't he?" asked Maes.

"Yeah!" Cried Elicia. "Pink cotton candy!!!"

Gracia rolled her eyes and Maes just laughed.

"All this money!!!" Cried Winry. "Now, you can buy me all those new automail parts I've been looking at!"

Ed, Al and El followed her.

"You know, it made me really happy," said Winry, turning around to face her companions.

"What?" asked Ed.

"Nevermind," said Winry, once again walking ahead of Ed, Al and El, her long blonde ponytail swinging behind her.

Ahead of the quartet stood the the ref of the arm wrestling contest, and the former champ.

"You guys again?" Winry questioned

"Yeah," said the ref. "Us again. Give us back that money and no one gets hurt."

"NO WAY!" cried Winry. "We won this fair and square!"

"Not exactly..." said the ref.

"You were using alchemy to cheat!" cried Ed.

"And you used it to cheat back!" the ref yelled.

"Ed?" asked Winry, sadly. "Is this true?"

"Yeah." said Ed, starring down at his boots.

"And you two knew about this?" Winry asked, turning to face Alphonse and Elir.

"Yeah," Alphonse said. Elir nodded.

Winry dropped the bag of money and took out her trusty wrench. She then hit Ed and Al with it. El tried to run away but to no avail. Winry caught up to her and hit her with the the wrench as well.

Winry began to hit the three alchemists with her wrench. The ref and the former champ had run away by the time she had finshed. She walked away, leaving Al, Ed and El on the ground twitching. The money bag lay forgotten on the ground.

******************************

Elicia had crashed from her sugar rush. The volcano now was dominant and peaceful, asleep in her father's lap.

"How long is this going to go on, Maes?" Gracia asked, with urgency in her voice.

"How long are we going to have to pretend that you're dead?"

"As long as it takes Roy and his team to fix what's wrong with the military," Maes answered.

"And then will this country become a democracy?"

"Most likely the old Assembly will regain power and then share power with the Fueher. And together the Fueher and the Assembly will take steps to make this country a democracy. But we're in no rush for democracy, right now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because those of us, that are still alive, who served in the Ishbal War, will mostly likely be court martialed for the crimes we committed during the campaign."

"Who will be court martialed?"

"Well, me, Roy, Riza, Doctor Knox, Doctor Marcoh, Lt. Catalina, Lt. Colonel Kaylar, Lt. Harris, and mostly likely all of Kaylar's sniper team, which at the time of the war included Riza, and Lt. Catalina, whose first name is Rebecca. And Elir may quite possilably be court martialed as well."

"Roy's little sister? She was only thirteen years old!"

"Yeah but she was there, and she was given a philosopher's stone and she was told to kill any Ishballians that crossed her path."

"And did she?"

"Yes, of course she did. Gracia, honey, if your superior officer gives you an order, you say, 'Yes sir,' and you do it, no questions asked."

"But El said she wasn't a state alchemist yet."

"That's true, dear, but she was made an unoffical state alchemist when Gran and the Fueher saw that she could do alchemy with a transmutation circle."

"Oh"

******************************************

Ed, Al and El sat on a bench, half waiting and half looking for Winry.

"Is that a common occurance?" El asked.

"Being hit with a wrench?" asked Ed. Elir nodded. "That's Winry for you."

"Great," Elir stated, sarcastically. "Well, I'm getting kinda hungry. You guys wanna go grab some grub?"

"Sure," said Ed. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry, Brother," said Al.

"I know a good place around the corner," said El. "Sometimes my friends play there."

"Huh?" asked Ed and Al, as the trio walked down the street.

"My friends who were in my band with me, when I was younger," El explained.

"What was the band called?" asked Al.

"Well I don't know what they are called now," said El. "But when I was the singer the band was called Butterfly Kiss."

*****

Elir, Edward and Alphonse got a table up front, near the stage where the band was set up. The girl's were, in fact, El's former bandmates.

"We are Crystal Mirage. Danika Torikyton on gutair, Nalanie Kaeo on drums, Parvati Sarin on bass and I'm Sarah Mayston. Now we have a special treat for all of you in the audience tonight, our oringal singer is here, Elir Mustang. Elir Mustang get yo' get your cute ass up here!"

Elir stood up and walked up on stage and gave Sarah, Danika, Nalanie and Parvati all hugs.

"Maybe if we ask her nicely, she will sing a couple songs for us," said Sarah.

The crowd roared with encouragement. Elir nodded and sat at the paino. She began to play random stuff to warm up.

"Okay," she said. "I remember how to play. No just kidding, I wrote this song about a week ago. It's a song that I wrote to clear my head of some things that were bothering me. It's called 'Why.'"

Elir began to play the paino and then she sang:

_Why is my life tormented like this? _

_All I want is peace and happiness. _

_Will I ever know those two wonderful friends?_

_Cold and heartless, you were, to treat me so carelessly._

_I am not your doormat. But a human being and I have the right to be treated as such._

_Why is my life tormented like this? _

_All I want is peace and happiness. _

_Will I ever know those two wonderful friends?_

_Why did you not think of me and my brother?  
Was a broken heart so hard to bear that you forgot about your children?_

_Did you not love us? Did you not care?_

_Why is my life tormented like this? _

_All I want is peace and happiness. _

_Will I ever know those two wonderful friends?_

_Lovely mother, who I look so much like, why did this cruel world take you away._

_Why? Why? Why...._

_Goddess why? Why did you take them away from me? _

_Please no more torment. Please no more pain. Please no more sorrow._

_Please send me some happiness, please send me some peace, send me joy..._

_I believe in you. I will believe in you._

_Why is my life tormented like this? _

_All I want is peace and happiness. _

_Will I ever know those two wonderful friends?_

When Elir finished singing, everyone clapped.

"One more song?" Sarah begged. Elir shook her head and returned to the table. When she sat down she noticed that Ed looked awestruck.

"What's up, Ed?" she asked. "You have the deer and headlights expression on."

"Nothing," Ed answered. "You just have a really beautiful voice, El."

"Thanks Ed."

"Well you do," said Ed, as Danika skipped over to the table.

Elir smiled.

"Come back to us, El," Danika whined. "We miss you!"

"I can't, I'm a state alchemist, remember?"

"Yeah, you joined the military and you left the really promising career you had as a singer."

"Promising career, as a singer? Puh-leze."

"Well whatever, how's your brother and how's east bum-fuck?"

"Oh Roy's fine and you mean East City?"

"Yeah."

"East City is fine."

"Why do you live with him, when you're an adult now? You could live here if you wanted and then you could come back to us."

"Yeah. True, you're right I am an adult now. But I don't actually live with Roy anymore. I have my own apartment, which is directly below his."

"Does he still bring home girls all the time?"

"Not as much as he used to. The only girls that have been in his apartment in the past six months are me and Lt. Hawkeye."

"Who's Lt Hawkeye again? Wait... is she the scary blonde lady with the guns that's always with your brother?"

"Yep, that's Hawkeye."

"Is Roy dating her?"

"No, they can't date because of the fraternization laws."

"So why has she been in his apartment in the last six months?"

"Because they're friends but really what I think it's when...well, I guess they were working late and there was way more work to be done that was due the next day so Roy took it home with him, and she came with him to make sure he did his paperwork."

"Oh. Would he not do it if she wasn't there?"

"No, he's a good for nothing, son of a bitch, who never does his paperwork unless Lt. Hawkeye is pointing a gun at his head," Ed interjected.

"Thanks for calling my mother a bitch, Ed," said El. "But yeah Danika, he's pretty much right."

"I'm sorry, El." said Ed. "Sometimes I forget you're related to the Colonel, due to the fact that you look almost nothing like him."

"Yeah. That's true, El," said Danika. "You and Roy don't really look alike at all. The only thing I can think of that is similar between you is the shape of your eyes. You both look a little bit Xingnese."

"Yeah. Well that's because our father was half Xingnese, half Amestrisan. And our mother was half Welsh, 1/4 Norwegian, and 1/4 Italian."

"So that's why you have a Welsh name?" asked Danika.

"Yeah," said El.

"Your name is Welsh?" asked Ed.

"Yeah," said El. "Elir is a Welsh name meaning 'butterfly.'"

"So, who are you're boyfriends?" Danika asked, indicating Ed and Al.

"Very funny, Dani."

"No, really who are they?"

"This is Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist," El said, indicating Ed. "And this is his younger brother, Alphonse Elric."

"Nice to meet you boys."

"Nice to meet you too, Danika," said Al.

As Riza expected, as soon as they got on the train and sat down, Roy fell asleep.

***FLASHBACK***

Roy and Maes became fast friends the day they met. Ever since that day, they were inseparable.

"Maes, who lives in that house behind the woods?" Roy asked, one afternoon when the boys were playing near the woods in Roy's backyard.

"The Havocs. They have two sons. One is my age, that's Jeremy. And the other one is his little brother, Jean. He's a year younger than you. I know who they are, like I could point them out at school, but I've never met them. That family...well...my mom says they've got problems."

"Problems?"

"Yeah, my Mom says, the Mom and Dad are always fighting, and..."

Maes didn't have time to finish his sentence because the two boys stopped and watched as another boy ran at them from the house on the other side of the woods. From somewhere in that house, perhaps the porch, the boy's father was screaming at him.

"JEAN HAVOC!!! YOU GET YO' ASS BACK HERE!!!"

The boy kept running until he ran into Roy's back porch. Roy turned to look at the boy, who had now plopped himself down on the grass. Maes and Roy both noticed he was crying.

"Are you alright?" asked Maes.

The little boy, who was blonde, shook his head.

"Was he yelling at you?" Roy asked.

The blonde boy nodded.

"What happened?" asked Maes.

"I didn't do anything!" the boy wailed. "He just started yelling at me!"

"What was he yelling at you about?" asked Maes.

"I don't even know!" cried the boy, still hysterical.

"Hey! Is everything alright out there, Boys?!" called Aurelia, from inside the house. When she got no response from either her son or his friend, she went outside onto the porch.

"Boys? Is everything alright?" she asked again.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Mom." said Roy.

"You guys wanna come in for some lemonade and cookies?"

"In a minute, Mom."

"You guys can bring you your new friend," she said, heading back into the house.

"I'm Maes Hughes," said Maes, holding out his hand for the boy to shake.

Which he did.

"I'm Roy Mustang," said Roy, also holding out his hand.

"Jean Havoc," said the boy.

"You wanna go inside?" Roy asked. "My mom makes really good cookies."

"Okay," said Jean. He got up from the grass and wiped his eyes on his hand. The three boys walked into the house.

"MOM!!!" Roy yelled.

"I hear you, Roy," said Aurelia. "I'm right here, love. You don't have to yell."

"Mom, this is Jean Havoc," said Roy. "He lives behind us."

"Nice to meet you, Jean," said Aurelia.

****END FLASHBACK****

"Sir?" asked Hawkeye, waving her hand in front of Roy's face.

"Mmm..." said Roy.

"Wake up. Next stop is ours."

"Yeah, okay."

Roy and Riza grabbed their bags and got off the train. Havoc met them in the train station parking lot.

"Hiya, Chief, Lieutenant," he said, saluting his superiors, his trademark cigarette dangling his mouth.

Hawkeye nodded

"Hmmm..." said Roy. "Need coffee."

"Did you just wake up, Chief?" Havoc asked.

Roy nodded.

"He slept on the train," said Hawkeye.

"No surprises," said Havoc, as they got into the car.

When they got to the office, Hawkeye immediaetly went to get the day's paperwork and a cup of coffee. When she returned, Roy was asleep with his head on the desk.

********************

"Hey Guys!!!" Winry called to Ed, El and Al, who were sitting on a bench near the hotel.

"Where were you?" Ed asked. "We looked everywhere for you!"

"You're that girl from the contest!" Ed added when he recognized the girl standing next to Winry.

"Ah huh," said the girl.

"Her name's Paninya," said Winry. "And was nice enough to let me stay at her place last night."

"Oh," said Ed.

"Edward, can I see your pocket watch for a second?" asked Winry.

"Yeah, okay," said Ed. "But..."

Before Ed could finish, Paninya snatched the watch from his hand.

"Wha..." said Ed.

"Thanks," said Paninya, starting to run away.

"If you can catch her and take your precious watch back before she makes it to the pawn shop then you win, Ed," said Winry.

"Come and get me little man, if you think you can take me!" called Paninya, speeding off into the distance.

Ed sped right after her in pursuit of his pocket watch.

"Why would you do that?" asked Al.

"It's simple really," said Winry. "I want Ed, to gain some appreciation for good automail."

Ed chased after Paninya as fast as he could. When Paninya turned into a dead end, Ed was there waiting for her. He grabbed his watch back from her.

"Oh man!" cried Paninya. "I lost!"

"I don't know what you were trying to prove but you weren't going to beat me," said Ed. "I have the best automail in the world."

Paninya still looked bummed that she had been beat, as Winry, El and Al joined them. Winry smiled she had heard Ed, compliment her automail.

Winry said goodbye to Paninya. And then Winry, El, Al and Ed headed back to the hotel. When they got there, Ed laid down on the couch in his and Al's room. Winry went to her and El's room to put away her tool kit, which she had been carrying with her. El sat down on the desk chair, backwards. Al was outside the room, in the hallway, perhaps being the lookout.

"El?" asked Ed.

"Yeah, Ed," said El.

"I don't know how to say this so it might come out wrong," said Ed.

"Yeah, it's okay. Go ahead," said El.

"I think you're really pretty."

"Thank you."

"And I was wondering if you'd like to go outside sometime?"

"Are you asking me on a date, Ed?"

"Yeah. Are you saying no or yes?"

"I'm saying yes."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So do you wanna go out now, and grab some food, and go to a movie?"

"Sure, but let's eat first. I'm hungry."

"Okay. Me too."

************************

"How did you get to be interested in alchemy and did it lead you to become a state alchemist?" Ed asked, when he and El were at the resuarant.

"Oh geez," said El. "That's a loaded question, Ed."

"Is it too much for a first date?"

"No, no, not at all. It's just loaded that's all, meaning it has a very lengthy answer."

"That's alright."

"Okay, well as you probably already know, my brother is eight years older than me...he's twenty-nine..."

"So you're twenty-one?"

"Yes. Well I am very close to Roy, just you are very close to Al. When I was one year old, Roy went off to study alchemy with the son-in-law of a friend of one of my dad's friends. My dad had met the guy's father in law on one of the lesuire fishing trips that he took with his friends almost every weekend."

"Your dad was a fisherman?"

"Yeah. A commerical fisherman, although he loved fishing so much that he would go on leisurely trips with his friends a lot."

"Oh. What did your mom do?"

"She stayed home and took care of me and Roy."

"That's what my Mom did, she stayed home and took care of me and Al."

"Yeah? Well anyway every summer Roy would come home and tell me stories about his teacher, his teacher's wife, and their daughter..."

"How old was he when he started studying with his teacher?"

"Nine...anywhoo...I started to get interested in alchemy myself when I was about five or six. I read all the books Roy would bring home to read. And if I didn't understand something he would explain or show it to me. I was eight when our mother died.."

"How did she die?"

"She died in childbirth. She hemorrhaged after giving birth to my little sister, who was stillborn....but anyway...our father died a few weeks later. If you look at his death certificate it says he died of a heart attack but if you ask me and Roy, we'll tell you that he died of a broken heart..."

"So the second verse of the song you wrote was about your father?"

"Yep, well after our parents died, Roy and I were adopted. So we moved to central where our foster mother lives...after we moved Roy went back to Geneva, where his teacher lived. And I went to Dublith to study with my own teacher..."

"Dublith?"

"Yes...why do you ask?"

"Your teacher wouldn't happen to be a woman named Izumi Curtis, would she?"

"Yes...and her husband is a big muscular guy named Sig. I get chills just thinking about her."

"Yeah. She taught me and Al, too. Small world, huh?"

"Yeah...after she released me, I went back to Central...I was thirteen. When Roy got shipped off to Ishbal, I insisted on going with him..."

"Why?"

"I guess I wanted to make sure everyday that he wasn't dead, but the only way I could stay with him, was if I helped out when I could. So I would assist Dr. Marcoh with his research or I would help out the kitchen staff in the mess hall on the base... but not everybody remembered that I was Roy's little sister, so they'd go -- 'Who's the little girl with the pigtails?' -- so I dyed my hair black so I'd look more like Roy. But once Gran and the Fueher saw that I could do alchemy without a transmutation circle, they gave me a philospher's stone and told me to go kill any Ishbalians in my path. I was made an honorary state alchemist. So I had follow their orders. Does that change anything?"

Ed shook his head.

"I still like you, El. I don't blame you. You were following orders...but then again..."

"I know I took innocent lives. Well honestly Ed, that's what happens in a war, innocent people die. Everyone I can think of that was there, we all took innocent lives...me, Roy, Hawkeye, Lt Catalina, Hughes."

"Lt. Colonel Hughes?"

"Well he was a captain at the time, but yeah?"

"He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Well I wouldn't say that. I'd feel bad for anyone on the receiving end of his throwing knives. He's lethal with those."

"Oh."

"He's a solider, Ed. He was given an order, and he followed it because he had no choice, we all had no choice."

"Okay. What happened after Ishbal?"

"Well, Roy went on a studying binge and debated attempting human transmutation..."

"I mean, what happened to you?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Ed nodded.

"I tried to kill myself, Ed. I attempted suicide, not just once but three times."

"How? And I'm just asking. You don't have to say if you don't want to."

"It's okay. The first time, I tried to shoot myself, but Roy and our adoptive mother wrestled the gun out of my hands. I did manage to shoot a hole in the wall and it's still there. The second time, I swallowed a handful of pills...Roy and Havoc found me, and got me to hospital in time..."

"And the third?"

El pushed up the sleeves of her henely tee. Ed noticed two diagonal burns, one on each of El's wrists.

"The third time, I slit my wrists. Roy burned my wrists to close my wounds and rushed me to the hospital. And then after three suicide attempts, Roy and our foster Mom made the descison to commit me to a mental hospital."

When Ed said, nothing El added, "I hope you don't think I'm crazy now, Ed."

Ed shook his head. "I don't blame you at all, El. You had just been through something really traumatic. War is traumatic. I might have done the same thing if I'd actually gone through what you did?"

"Actually gone through it?"

"You don't know the lie, your brother told the fueher, to cover up that Al and I attempted human transmutation?" Ed asked, saying the words "human transmutation" in a hushed tone, so only El could hear.

"No."

"He said we lost limbs in the war."

"Clever Roy," El said to the air. "But no one is going to believe that."

"The Fueher bought it."

"That man would belive anything one of his state alchemists told him."

"So if I told him, I was part bunny rabbit, he'd believe it?"

"No, anything that sounds like it could be legit, like you and Al losing limbs in the war."

"So you didn't tell me how those events lead you to become a state alchemist."

"Oh right, basically Gran pushed me into it."

"Oh. Was first verse of your song about him?"

"No, but that was a good guess, Ed. The first verse of 'Why' is actually about an ex-boyfriend of mine."

"Oh," said Ed, gesturing to the waiter for the check. "Did you still want to see a movie?"

"Yeah. Did you have a movie in mind?"

"No. I thought I'd be a gentleman and let you pick the movie. What do you wanna see?"

"That was thoughtful of you. Well I would like to see the new Kandance Sliverman movie. But the problem is is that it is rated R, and..."

"Yeah I know under seventeen not admitted with parent or guardian and I'm sixteen. What's the movie about? If I know what it's about then I can decide if it's worth going through all the trouble to get me in."

"Good point, I'll call my friend, Lacey. I'll ask her to look up the synopsis for me."

El fetched her cellphone from her purse and dialed her friend Lacey's number.

_"Elir! Hey bitch! What the hell is up?"_

"Not much, Lace. I actually need a favor. That's why I called."

_"Sure what is it?"_

"Do you know what the new Kandance Sliverman movie is about?"

_"Um, nope but I can look it up. I just need to bum my grandpa's interwebs."_

"Ok. I'm gonna put you on speaker, so my date can hear, too."

_"Okie dokie. Here is the synopsis: Gigi Morgell is a paitent in a mental hospital. She isn't she is a medium to the supernatural world, and no one around her believes her. She can see, hear, and be possesed by spirts. When a new intern, Tabitha Jones, comes to work in the hospital, she strikes up a friendship with Gigi. When Gigi is able to contact Tabitha's late lover, she helps Tabitha move on from the loss. But now, Tabitha is looking for a new love, will she choose to have Gigi released or is she crushing on someone else? It's rated R due to adult language, adult content, some frightening images, and nudity. But the frightening images aren't all that scary according to my friend, Evie, who saw the movie a week ago."_

"Okay thanks, honey," said El, taking her phone off speaker. "I gotta run, but I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

_"Yeah ok. We totally need to get together sometime."_

"I know."

_"And you need to fix me up with a nice guy. You know a ton."_

"Lacey, honey, the reason you joined military, wasn't it to meet guys?"

_"No! I wanted serve my country."_

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

_"LOL, well I'll let you go." _

"Yeah, okay."

_"Love you."_

"Hate you."

_"Just checking."_

El hung up.

"And the that is second Lieutenant Lacey Raven for you."

Ed laughed.

"Does that movie sound good?"

"Yeah, if you want to see it?"

"I do."

"Okay, now let's think..."

"Yeah right, how do we get you in?"

"We could pretend that..."

"Wait, I have a friend who works there, yeah, Ronny can totally get you in."

"Okay," said Ed, looking at the check the waiter had just brought over.

"I just hope Ronny is working tonight." said El.

"This Ronny is a guy?" Ed asked, reaching for his wallet.

"Yeah, Ronny's a guy but he's gay."

"Oh," said Ed, handing the check to the waiter.

*****

"Well that was not the best Kandance Sliverman movie, I've ever seen," said El, as she and Ed walked back to the hotel.

"And you've seen a lot of her movies?"

"Yeah. Did you like it?"

"Well, to be honest, no. I found it kinda hard to follow."

"Well, other than the strange movie, I had a great time, Ed," said El when they arrived at the door to the hotel room that El was sharing with Winry.

"So did I, El. You're fun to be with. Can I ask you a question that I fear may come out awkward?"

"Edward, not a single question you have asked me tonight has come out even remotley awkward."

"I fear this one may come out awkward."

"Alright. Shoot."

"Willyoubemygirlfriend?"

"Say again?"

"What?"

"Sorry, military expression, it means repeat what you said."

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, I didn't quite catch that the first time. Yes, Ed, I would love to be your girlfriend."

"BROTHER!" cried Al, bursting into the hallway, from the room he was sharing with his brother. "You'll never believe who's here!"

Sig Curtis joined Al in the hallway.

"Oh no..." said El.

"Then that means..." said Ed, shivering as if the temperture in the hallway had suddenly dropped.

"Play dead," said El, throwing herself onto the floor and pretending to be dead.

_________________________

**Preview**

Ed, Al, and El feel the wrath of Izumi. Izumi sends Ed and Al off to Yock Island, while El heads to Central upon Roy's request, (to move their stuff because of his transfer to Central). Ed, Al and Winry met El back in Central at the Wolf 'n' Whistle Tavern. Ed learns of El and Havoc's close relationship. How will he react? Ed, Al and Winry also learn about the (alleged) death of Lt. Colonel Hughes.

Please Review!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey all...I imagine you guys have been enjoying this story...but please **REVIEW!!!!** Please Please.....Review!!! I really like hearing what you guys have to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. I only own the OC's.

So chapter 5…

"Nice try, Elir. I can see you breathing," said Izumi, joining Sig in the hallway. Edward turned on his heel, and made an effort to run away. But Izumi caught him.

"Just where do you think you're going, Ed?"

"Nowhere," Ed said, hanging his head in defeat.

"WHERE IS ALPHONSE!!!???" Izumi yelled.

"Here, ma'am," said Al, snapping to attention.

"Thank you young man for escorting us here," Izumi said, to the suit of armor.

"Do you know where I can find Alphonse?"

"Uh, I'm Alphonse…" said Al shyly.

"Oh so you've taken to wearing a disguises now?" Izumi asked.

"Er…" said Al.

"I'd half expected you to have dyed your hair, El," said Izumi.

Elir shrugged. She looked down at her toenail polish, which was black and chipping.

Then her cell phone rang. It was Roy. Elir answered.

"What do you want bro?"

"_I need you to come to Central. I got transferred."_

"Oh."

"_Yeah, I transferred Fallman, Fuery, Breda, Havoc and Hawkeye too."_

"General Grunman was cool with that?"

"_Yeah he was. He told me to take care of his granddaughter. And then he suggested that she would make a good first lady. Why is everybody trying to set me up with Hawkeye?"_

"Because you two are so perfect for each other."

"_Okay, whatever. Just get your ass in gear and get to Central. That's an order, El."_

"Yes, bastard Colonel with a god complex! Oh my goddess! I've been hanging around Ed too much."

"_Right whatever, El."_

El hung up.

"I've got to go to Central, my brother got transferred." She said.

Izumi nodded.

"It's back to Yock Island for you two," Izumi said indicating Ed and Al.

"I'll meet you guys back in Central in a few days, ok?" El asked.

Ed nodded. El smiled and then gave Ed a kiss on the cheek. She then went into the hotel room to get her stuff, as Ed blushed crimson.

************

Elir was helping her brother and his subordinates move into their apartments in Central. She and Roy returned to the apartments they had been subletting, whereas Hawkeye, Havoc, and Breda had to rent new ones and Fallman and Fuery chose to live in the dorms. Today they were helping Havoc move into his new apartment. Elir lifted a box from the moving van and carried it into the building. She then went up to the third floor, to apartment 3C. She put the box down next to Havoc.

"That the last of 'em?" Havoc asked her, not looking at who it was.

"Yeah, I think so." said El.

Havoc then turned around and saw El. He smiled and grabbed her breasts.

"Hey El, how ya doin'? Honk, honk!" he said.

El laughed. "Feel better now Jean?" she asked.

"Yeah I do."

"Havoc did you just grab my sister?" Roy asked from the doorway.

"Er…um…" Havoc stammered, scratching his head.

"Yeah, he did," said El. "But it's cool with me Roy. Don't worry about it."

"I wasn't worried," said Roy.

"Is that the last of 'em?" Havoc asked, noticing the box in Roy's arms.

"No, there's one more. Riza's got it." Roy put the box on the floor beside the door.

Riza then walked in with a box.

"That's all of the boxes," she said. "Breda and Fallman have the TV."

"That TV doesn't work," said Havoc. "Where's Fuery when you need him?"

"He's at his parent's house," said Roy.

"Ah ok," Havoc said. "I ask him to fix it later."

******A month later******

~~~~Wolf n Whistle Tavern~~~

The tavern was pretty crowded for a Thursday night. Elir reached into her purse for her cell phone.

"Hello?" she said.

"_Hey El."_

"Hey Ed."

"_Where are you? Al, Winry and I just got into Central Station."_

"The Wolf 'n' Whistle Tavern. Walk east from the train station, turn right onto Belleview Avenue. Then turn left onto Crestwood Street. Crestwood will turn into Varner Street. On Varner Street you'll see a place called Madame Christmas' lounge, make a right when you see it. That's Laffer Street. The Wolf 'n' Whistle is on the left. When you get to the door, you'll get carded. Show them your watch and they should let you guys in. If they don't, call me over and I'll bitch the guy out."

"_Okay. See you in a little bit, then El."_

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

El hung up her cell phone and sat back down at the bar.

"Hey Hugo, can I get a beer?"

"Sure, El. Usual?"

"Yeah sure whatever you got that isn't Bud or Bud Lite."

"Here," said Hugo, sliding El a bottle of Sam Adams.

"Thanks Hugo."

El lit a cigarette. She took a long drag on it, before taking a sip of her beer. She felt someone come up behind her. She knew it was Havoc.

"Hey El. How you doin'? Honk, honk."

"Hey Jean. Not bad, you?"

"I guess I'm doing alright. Just this whole girlfriend thing, is really throwing me. I mean, I think we had right all those years ago. No commitments, just good old fashioned friends with benefits."

"Well I can't exactly do that now, Jean."

"Right you're still dating that girl, what's her name, Mary Jane?"

"Nope, we broke up."

"So you're free then?"

"No I'm not. I'm seeing someone."

"Who is it? Guy or Girl?"

"Guy."

"You're straight again, El?" asked a woman with curly black hair. "When did that happen?"

"Hey Rebecca!" cried El. "Did you get transferred too?"

"Nope," said Rebecca. "I just came into town to help Riza move her stuff. It's not gonna be the same in East City without her. So really, when did you turn straight again?"

"Since I got a boyfriend."

"Who is he?" Rebecca and Jean both asked at the same time.

As Rebecca waited for a response from El, she looked toward the door at the man who was assigned to the tedious task of checking ID's. He was currently refusing to let a small young man with blonde hair into the bar. The young man was currently showing the man a silver pocket watch.

"El?!" the young man called.

El hopped off the bar stool and walked over to the blonde boy's aide. "Is there a problem, you?" she asked addressing the man who was refusing to let her friends in the bar.

"Yeah," he said. "This kid is trying to pass off a pocket watch as an ID."

"Did you take a good look at the pocket watch, dude?" El asked.

"Well no, but since when is a pocket watch an ID?"

"Since it's the military issued pocket watch, that they only give out to State Alchemists," said the young man. "My name is Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"HAHA! That's funny kid. You're Edward Elric! Yeah really funny!"

"Who's being funny, bub? He is Edward Elric," said El.

"Oh fine, just go in." the man said.

Ed followed his girlfriend into the bar. Al and Winry followed him. Ed climbed up onto the barstool next to El's.

"Can I get you a booster seat, young man?" Hugo asked.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SUCH A SHRIMP SO SHORT HE NEEDS A BOOSTER SEAT!!!!!!"

"Brother, he didn't say that," said Al.

"Geez, Hugo I'm the same height as him and you don't ask me if you can me a booster seat," said El, laughing slightly.

"Er…well I know better than to ask you that, El. You'd freak out like that," said Hugo.

"Damn straight I would," said El. Hugo laughed.

"Hugo, this is Edward Elric," said El. "Ed this is Hugo."

"Nice to meet you Edward," said Hugo.

"Yeah same," said Ed.

"Who's in the suit of armor?" said Hugo.

"I'm Ed's little brother, Alphonse," said Al.

Hugo opened his mouth to say something but El stopped him. She gave him a look that said, _You saw what happened when you asked Ed if wanted a booster seat, don't start anything else. Ed is older, Al is younger, that's the way it is._

"And this is their friend, Winry Rockbell," said El. Winry smiled.

"I'm gonna go downstairs to the storeroom and get some stuff," said Hugo. "I'll be back in a while. Nice to meet you guys." And then he disappeared to the back of the store.

"I'm guessing you guys remember Lt Havoc," said El.

"Yeah," said Ed.

"This is second Lt. Rebecca Catalina," said El, introducing Rebecca to Ed.

Ed held out his right hand for Rebecca to shake. Rebecca took his hand and shook it. Havoc gave El's breasts a quick squeeze.

"Your right hand is automail?" Rebecca asked.

"Yeah, it is," said Ed.

"Well it's nice to meet the famous Fullmetal Alchemist," Rebecca said. "Although I wonder why I haven't met you before. I'm stationed in East City."

"Oh," said Ed. "But you don't work for Mustang?"

"Nope, I work for Captain Kelly down on the shooting range. But I am actually truthfully under the direct command of General Grunman."

"Oh," said Ed.

"By the way Ed and I are going out," said El.

"Huh? What?" asked Havoc, scratching his head.

"As in we're dating," said El.

"Whoa!" said Rebecca. "So does your brother know, El?"

"No," said El. "Roy doesn't know."

"Roy doesn't know what?" asked Hawkeye joining them at the bar.

"Um," said Ed.

"Yes," said Roy joining them. "What doesn't Roy know?"

"Why is Roy referring to himself in third person?" asked El.

"Gee El," said Roy. "He doesn't know. Maybe Roy has had too much to drink."

"Whatever," El said. "What you don't know is that Ed and I are going out."

"Yeah ok," said Roy, taking another glass of whiskey from Hugo and walking away.

"It will hit him tomorrow when he sobers up," Rebecca said with a little laugh.

"True," said Hawkeye. "He'll freak out tomorrow. Come on, Rebecca you have an early train to catch tomorrow, and I want to go home."

"Alright. Let's go," said Rebecca. The two women left the bar.

Havoc winked at El and laughed. El winked back. The exchange between the two friends was basically Jean saying, _Rebecca is good looking_, and El replying_, Go for it._

"El, can I talk you alone for a few minutes, outside?" asked Ed.

"Sure, Ed," said El, putting her empty beer bottle atop the bar. She then put out her cigarette and hopped off the stool.

"Brother, Winry and I are gonna get a table, ok?" Al asked.

"Yeah, ok Al. El and I will be back in a little bit," Ed said, leading the way outside.

*******

"El, what's with you and Lt. Havoc?" Ed asked, once the couple was seated on a bench across the street from the bar.

"Ed, don't worry it's nothing like that. Jean and I are just friends now."

"Now?"

"Well we went out a couple of times a few years back. And we've slept together way more than a few times. But I am with you now, Ed. Jean and I are no longer an item and we haven't been for quite some time now. So don't worry, ok?"

"You slept with him? What do you mean?"

"Um…I mean…er…well. Ed I'm just gonna say this…I'm just gonna blurt it out, 'cause there is no easy way to say this…we had sex…there ok…I said it."

"Wha…?" asked Ed. Shock appeared across his face and his gold eyes became as large as saucers. "Are you being serious?"

"Yes I am being serious. I did sleep with Havoc on more than one occasion, several actually. I am definitely not a virgin. I've had lots of experience with guys, some good, some bad, and some very ugly."

Ed nodded that he understood.

"I don't like that he just grabs you," said Ed. "I mean you're my girlfriend. I don't want Havoc touching you."

"I agree Ed. But you need to tell him yourself that you don't want him groping me."

"Alright."

"Ed, I am only interested in you. I don't want to be with anyone else, ok?"

"Alright."

"Come 'ere."

"Ok."

Ed inched closer to El on the bench. And El did something Ed wasn't expecting: she kissed him.

*****

Ed and El walked back into the bar a few minutes later. Ed's cheeks were a shade of crimson. He walked right up to Havoc.

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes, Lt Havoc?"

"Sure thing, Boss…what's on your mind?"

"Er…well…er…um…El is my girlfriend and it kinda bothers me that you were grabbing her boobs earlier."

"Um, well El and I are just friends. Surely she told you that?"

"Yes she did. It's just that she is my girlfriend. I don't really want you grabbing her. Or anybody else grabbing her, for that matter."

"Alright. I gotcha. But the thing is El is the only girl that the Colonel can't have 'cause she is his sister. He is forever stealing my girlfriends and I am tired of it."

"I get it Havoc. But please can you not grab El anymore?"

"Ok I won't grab El anymore."

*******

A few minutes later, Roy, El, Havoc, Breda and Fuery had joined Al and Winry at a large table.

"You know this party is kinda missing something," said Ed.

"Yeah," Winry agreed. "It's missing Lt. Colonel Hughes and his lively attitude and the pictures of Elicia." Nobody spoke for two whole minutes.

"Ok…" said Ed. "What's with the sudden silence?"

"Edward, I didn't want to be the one to tell you guys this but…" Roy began. He drained the last drop of whiskey from his glass before continuing. "Lt. Colonel Hughes was murdered about a week ago."

"Murdered?!" Ed cried.

"Yes, he was trying to call me from an outside line and someone shot him before I even picked up the phone," Roy said. He wasn't looking at Ed or Al or Winry. Instead Roy Mustang starred at his shoes.

* * *

That's all for chapter 5 folks. Sorry I took so long. I've been busy with school then the holidays. So hope you all had a nice holiday. And Happy New Year to Everybody.

Preview:

Winry, Al and Ed head to El's apartment… Roy relocates the remaining people at the Wolf n Whistle to Madame Christmas' lounge… Havoc gets a girlfriend.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hey guys sorry I've been kind of on hiatus cause of school. I haven't died. I am still alive. Yes I live! LoL, so without further delay he is chapter 6 of Fullmetal Loves Wicked.

"He's really dead?" Ed asked. Roy didn't say anything.

"Please drop the subject, Edward," said Hawkeye returning to the scene. "The answer to your question is yes. Lt Colonel Hughes is dead. He was promoted to Brigadier General in death."

"Why drop the subject?" Ed asked.

"Because it's bothering the chief to talk about it," said Havoc. "Hughes was his best friend."

"Right," said Ed.

"Havoc," said Roy.

"Yeah chief," said Havoc.

"You and me, shot contest, now," said Roy.

"Shots of what?" Havoc asked.

"Doesn't matter," said Roy.

"You guys call it," said Havoc, addressing everyone at the two tables they were occupying.

"Whiskey," said Breda

"Tequila," said El

"Whiskey?" Havoc asked.

"Whiskey's fine with me," said Roy. "Hugo whiskey shots here!"

Everyone watched as Roy and Havoc knocked back shot after shot of whiskey.

"How long do they go on?" asked Al.

"Till one of them passes out," said El.

"Bets on Mustang," said Breda.

"Why?" asked Ed.

"Because Jean is fading," said Breda.

"Right…um…ok," said Ed.

Sure enough Havoc passed out a minute later.

"Told you so," said Breda.

"Whoot!" Cried an obviously very drunk Roy

"I hope you have a DD, Colonel," said Hugo. Roy glanced at Riza.

"I walked," she said. "Havoc is gone, he can't drive. And everyone else is drunk too. Looks like you're spending the night on Madame Christmas' couch."

"Care to escort me there, Lieutenant?" Roy asked.

"Alright," she said.

"Move the party, there," said Hugo. "Its closing time here."

They then moved the party the Madame Christmas' lounge down the street.

******  
"Oh good lord, Roy," said Madame Christmas, upon seeing him being dragged in on Hawkeye's shoulders, and Havoc being carried piggy back by Breda. "Put them down on the couch there." She pointed to a couch on the left side of the bar.

"Heymans, what happened to my boy?" Madame Christmas asked.

"Oh the Colonel decided to have a shot contest with Jean," said Breda. "Colonel won, Jean passed out, he's been out since."

Madame Christmas shook her head. "Madeline," she said calling one of her girls.

"Yes," said Madeline.

"Go get Jean and Roy the secret formula," said Christmas.

"Yes Madame," said Madeline

"What's the secret formula?" asked Ed, who had just straggled in next to Elir.

"Mustang family secret," said El.

"Then I don't think I want to know what it is," said Ed.

"I don't even know what it is, Ed," said El. "But it sobers my brother up when he's drunk and if it sobers Roy up it will work on Havoc as well."

Ed nodded as Madeline handed the secret formula to both Roy and Jean.

Roy knocked it back. But since Havoc was still out cold, Breda opened his mouth and poured the concoction in his friend's mouth. Roy sobered up instantly. He looked around, and became aware of his surroundings. Once he realized where he was, in swore in Xingnese under his breath, which earned him a smack upside the head from Madame Christmas.

"I heard that Roy boy," she said.

"Yes got it Madame," said Roy. "I know, I know, no more shot contests with Jean."

"Yes," said Madame Christmas. She turned to El. "Hello Darling."

"Hi Madame," said El.

"How have you been El, sweetheart," said Christmas. "I see you haven't been keeping on an eye on your brother like I asked you too."

"Well I've been away," said El. "And you know that's hard for me to do, besides he has Riza to do that."

"I'm really not his babysitter," said Hawkeye. "He is a very big boy."

"Yes," said Christmas, "which is why I am concerned that he needs a babysitter."

"I don't need a babysitter, Madame," said Roy.

"Oh yes you do Roy boy," said Christmas, "every other day you come in here in some sort of trouble."

"I appreciate your confidence in me," said Roy his voice dripping with sarcasm

Madame Christmas ignored Roy. "So who is this?" she asked El.

"Oh this is Ed," said El. "Edward Elric, the fullmetal alchemist. Ed this is Madame Christmas, she is mine and Roy's adoptive mother."

"El, can I speak to you outside for a minute?" Ed asked.

"Sure," said El, a little confused.

"You were raised in a brothel?" Ed asked

"No not a brothel," said El. "It's a host club."

"Host club?" Ed asked

"Yes they are very popular in Xing," said El. "basically a gentleman pays a small fee then he chooses a lady, to keep him company, severe him drinks and tell him jokes, in a sense entertain him for the allotted time that he paid for. It's not prostitution, Ed."

"It sounds like it could…" started Ed.

"Yes sometimes it can lead to prostitution," said El, "But not often. Actually some of the girls do that, but Madame asks them to not be on the clock when they do, because she says she is not running a whore house."

Ed nodded. They walked back in. Roy was still arguing with Madame Christmas.

"For fuck's sake, I'm almost thirty!" he yelled. "I hold the rank of Colonel in the military! I don't need a babysitter! I am a very big boy!"

"Girls talk to him please," said Madame Christmas. "In the other room, girls. Riza can I talk to you at the bar?"

"Of course Madame," said Riza, as Madeline, and a busty darker skinned girl whisked Roy away to another room.

"I'm gonna head home, Madame," said El.

"Alright," said Madame Christmas. "See you soon dear, don't be a stranger. Same goes for you Ed."

Ed nodded. And then they left.

"I need to ask you something, Riza," said Madame Christmas

"Yes," said Riza.

"I sense that there something more between you and Roy then friendship, am I correct? Are you two lovers or just friends with benefits?"

"Hard to say, really," said Riza.

"Ah I see, one of those relationships," said Christmas

"Yes," said Riza.

"Is it really hard to say or do you not want to say for fear that you and Roy maybe under surveillance?" Christmas asked.

Riza shrugged.

"Well actually, it's the second one," said Riza. "We feel that whoever attempted to murder Hughes may come after anyone he or she deems close to Roy. However, it seems as though they do not want Roy to reach his goal of becoming fuehrer, So much so that they will attempt to take the life of everyone close to Roy in effort to cripple him."

"Such as?" Christmas asked

"Me, Havoc, perhaps even Elir," said Riza

"They better not hurt my baby," said Christmas

"Roy and I will make sure to protect Elir," said Riza.

"If anything happens to El or Roy I don't what I'd do," said Christmas. "You take care of my Roy, you hear Riza?"

"Yes, Madame, I will," she said. "Excuse me though, I should get home."

"Alright, Riza take care of yourself as well," said Christmas

"I will," said Riza. She nodded and made her way out, as a girl with blonde hair made her way into the room from downstairs. Madame Christmas addressed the new girl.

"Annie dear you clocking out?" She asked.

"Yes Madame," said the girl called Annie.

"Do me a favor before you do?" Christmas asked.

"Yes Madame," said Annie.

"See that gentleman over there?" Christmas asked indicating Havoc.

"Yes," said Annie.

"Go talk to him, then you may clock out," said Christmas

"Yes Madame," said Annie, going over to Havoc. "Hi," she said to him.

"Hi," said Havoc.

"My name's Annemarie, but everyone calls me Annie," said Annie

"I'm Jean," said Havoc

"Isn't that usually a woman's name?" Annie asked

"No not always," said Havoc. "Its actually the French form of John."

"Are you French?" Annie asked.

Havoc nodded.

"On your mother or your father's side?" she asked

"Mother's," said Havoc. "My mom grew up in France, in Paris actually. She met my father when he was stationed in Paris. He got her pregnant with my brother, and then whisked her back to Amestris, and married her."

"Oh how romantic!" Annie cried.

"What's romantic about that?" Havoc asked

"They met in Paris!" Annie squealed. "Isn't that romantic?"

"I suppose," said Havoc.

"So what do you do for a living, Jean?" Annie asked

"I'm in the military," said Havoc

"Like father like son?" Annie asked

"I suppose so," said Havoc. "But I out rank my father."

"Oh what rank are you and what rank is your father?" Annie asked

"My father is a sergeant and I'm a second lieutenant," said Havoc

"Does that mean I would call you sir?" Annie asked

"Yes," said Havoc. "If you were in the military and you were ranked below me."

"So your father would have to call you sir?" Annie asked

"Yes," said Havoc, laughing a little to himself.

"So you wanna go back to your place?" Annie asked.

"Sure," said Havoc.

"I just have to tell Madame Christmas I'm leaving," said Annie

"Okay," said Havoc

Annie went to clock out. When she came back she left with Havoc.

AN: There it's done. See I told you Havoc would get a girlfriend. Stay tuned to find out how long it will last?

Coming in the next chapter…

Roy and Riza babysit Elicia

Riza's brother, Landon knocks on her door and asks to live with her.

The homunculi draw in closer to another that Roy cares for.

As always feedback is appreciated. Please Review.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: I've been busy. Here's chapter 7.

Jean and Annie walked down the street to his place. As they approached the apartment building they noticed there was a woman sitting on the steps. She was blonde haired and blue eyed like Jean, so Annie guessed that she must be Jean's mother.

"Is that your mother?" Annie asked

Jean nodded

"She's pretty," said Annie.

"Who's this, Jean," his mother asked.

"Mom, this is Annie. Annie this my mom, Leigh," said Jean

"It's nice to meet you, Annie," said Leigh

"Yes it's nice to meet you too." Said Annie

"You two going upstairs?" Leigh asked

Jean nodded.

"Use a condom," said Leigh.

"yes, mom,' said Jean, as he lead Annie upstairs.

"You live with your mother?" Annie asked

"Good god, no. She owns the apartment building. I rent an apartment in the building. So my landlady happens to be my mother," said Jean taking out his keys.

"Oh, "said Annie. "Why did she say use a condom?"

"She always says that to me," said Jean, turning the key the door.

"Oh," said Annie

Jean nodded and opened the door. A golden retriever puppy came barreling toward the door to greet his master.  
"Hey there buddy," said Jean as the puppy jumped into his arms, as he kneeled.

"Oh he's cute," said Annie. "What's his name?"

"Buster," said Jean

"He's adorable," said Annie

"Thanks," said Jean. ""I got him a few weeks ago," said Havoc."I'm telling you there is nothing like a fury friend to greet you when you come home."

"I know," said Annie "I have a cat. And I had a dog growing up."

"Oh,' said Havoc. He shut the door behind him. "Want a beer or something?"

"Oh I don't drink beer," said Annie.

"I have water, that's about it, sorry," he said

"Water is fine," said Annie

"Ok," said havoc

"Do u always have beer in your apartment?" Annie asked

"Most of the time," said Havoc. "I'm not much of wine drinker.''

"Oh I see," said Annie

Havoc handed her a bottle of water.

"Penny for your thoughts?' she asked

"I was thinking about how beautiful you are,' said havoc

"Thank you," she said

He reached out to stroke her blonde curly hair.

"You're welcome," he said

Annie smiled, and pulled him closer, crushing her lips to his. He tasted like the beer he was drinking and he smelled like a subtle cologne and tobacco. A smell Annie loved.

"Mmm,'' she said they continued to kiss more intensely as they went along,

Roy opened the door to his apartment. And let his faithful lieutenant inside, as soon as Roy shut the door, he crushed his lips to Riza's. He had loved since the day he met her, but it was rare that they got to be together this way. They had been lovers since Ishbal, a time when they both needed comfort. No one knew what they truly were. This was a very good thing, since their relationship was technically illegal. (Fraternization laws). That was the first thing he'd do when he became fuehrer, lift those damn laws. He thought. They continued to kiss. Black Hayate barked. He was unsure of how to react to this. His mistress seemed to be enjoying the kissing. The small black and white dog watched as his mistress wrapped her arms around the man's neck. They continued still, kissing. The man then picked her up and carried her into his bedroom. Hayate made to follow, but instead his mistress told him to lie down. Knowing that she would be fine, Hayate obeyed.

Roy placed Riza down on his bed and immediately started removing her clothing. She initatied an attack on his. Once they were both naked, they resumed their kissing. Roy made love to her three times that night. They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Roy woke up early the next morning to the sound of someone knocking on the door. He quickly threw on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and answered the door. It was Gracia; of course Roy had forgotten he was supposed to babysit Elicia while Gracia worked. How was supposed explain Riza being there to a four year old. He had an inkling that Gracia knew about them.

"Hi Roy," said Gracia. "Did I wake you?"

He nodded. ''Don't tell me you forgot," said Gracia

"I did," said Roy, sleep still in his eyes.

"If it's a problem I can bring her to work with me, but my supervisor doesn't like it," said Gracia

"It's not a problem I can watch her," said Roy.

"Thank you Roy you're a life saver," said Gracia

"I try," he said

That earned a laugh from Gracia.

"Hi Uncle Roy," said Elicia, no longer hiding behind her mother's leg.

"Hey kiddo," said Roy. "Come in,"

"I'll be back around four to get her," said Gracia

Roy nodded.

"Be good for Uncle Roy, ok?'' Gracia said to her daughter. Elicia nodded.

Gracia left. Roy shut the door.

"Keep your voice down, ok?" Roy asked Elicia

"Why?" asked Elicia

'Because Auntie Riza is still sleeping," he said

"Oh,' said Elicia to Roy's surprise not caring why she was there. He

Thought he would have to explain.

*******A week later******

Riza was doing the dishes when there was a knock at the door. She stopped and dried her hands and answered the door. It was her brother, Landon. He was barely El's age. Just a year younger. He was blonde like his older sister, but his eyes dark brown instead of amber.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself," she said, letting him in. Black hayate trotted over, and sniffed Landon's feet.

"You got a dog?" he asked

"Yes," said Riza.

"So anyway Sis, "said Landon. "How r u?"

"Could be better,' said Riza."But I'm alright. You?"

"I'm fine," said Landon

"You're still living with Grandfather Right?" she asked. Landon nodded.

"I hate it though,' he said

"Why?" his sister asked.

"I have a freaking curfew," said Landon

"Oh," said Riza

"Can I come live with you, Sis?" He asked

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Riza

"Why not?" asked Landon. "It's not like you date."

"How do you know I don't date?" she asked rather insulted

"Cause I've never seen you with a man other then Dad's apprentice. And you can't date him you work for him." said Landon. "Unless you're secretly dating him? Are you?'

Riza said nothing but Landon figured out from her expression.

"You are dating him, aren't you?" he asked.

"Dating no," said Riza. "That's too risky."

"So you're just sleeping with him?" asked Landon.

"Yes,' said Riza."Please don't tell anyone Landon."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked

"You'd have your own sister court marshaled and then most likely put to death for breaking the law?" she asked. Landon shook his head.

"It's illegal for you to sleep with Mustang?" he asked

"Yes, it's the fraternization laws,' said Riza.

"Oh," said Landon

"Alright you can come live with me," said Riza "You can take care of black hayate when I'm at work"

"That's the dog's name?' he asked. Riza nodded.

Annie wrapped her arms around Havoc's neck and kissed him. She had just walked in the door to his apartment.

"Hey Baby," he said. Jean Havoc couldn't be happier. He had a steady girlfriend that didn't seem the least bit interested in Roy Mustang. He led her to the bedroom.

Just outside the building, sat the enemies of Amestris. The homunculi.

"He's next," said Envy

"How?" asked Lust

"Seduce him Lust," said Envy

"He has a girlfriend," said Lust

"That's never stopped you before," said Envy

"Fine,' said Lust, mouthing off.

"Can I eat him, Lust?" asked Gluttony

"No gluttony you've had lunch," said Lust

AN: There's chapter 7. Hope you enjoyed it


	8. Chapter 8

Annie stood on a street corner waiting.

"Annie," said a male voice. It was Roy Mustang. Her boyfriend's commanding officer. Annie said nothing but got in the backseat of the car he was driving.

"You're late," said Annie. "Madeline said you'd be late."

"Sorry to be late, got held up at work," said Roy.

"It's ok," said Annie.

"What do you got for me?" He asked

"Be careful," said Annie. "Protect those you care for?"

"Why do you say that, Darling?" Roy asked

"The enemy of military is attacking those they deem close to you," said Annie. "That comes from Ace Andrews."

"Alright," said Roy. "Anything else."

"The higher ups may be on to you and Elizabeth," said Annie.

"And that knowledge comes from who, darling?" Roy asked.

"Madame Christmas," said Annie. "And that's all I know."

"I know something that Havoc doesn't know?" said Roy

"What's that?" Annie asked.

"You're a lesbian," said Roy

"I'm bi sexual," said Annie

"But you prefer women," said Roy. Annie nodded. "Are you even attracted to Lt Havoc?"

"Yes, but like you said I prefer women," said Annie.

"Stop leading him on then and, here's a little something for your trouble," he said handing her a wad of cash.

"Thanks," said Annie, exiting the car. And who should see but…Ed and Alphonse Elric.

"El?" asked Ed

"Yeah, Ed," said Elir

"Isn't that Lt. Havoc's girlfriend?" Ed asked pointing across the street to Annie.

"Yeah," said El.

"What was she doing in your brother's car?" asked Ed

"She's probably just an informant to him," said El. "all of Madame Christmas' girls are."

"So it's ok, brother," said Al. "she's not cheating."

"Good that would devastate Lt. Havoc," said Ed.

"It sure would," said El.  
Annie walked across the street.

"Not cheating are you, Annie?" El asked

"With your brother?" Annie asked. "As if."

"Then you're just an informant?" Ed asked. Annie nodded.

"Don't tell Jean you saw me with Roy. He'll get the wrong idea ok?" Annie asked

"Sure thing," said Ed.

"******************"

"Jean we need to talk," said Annie over the phone

"Alright what about?" Havoc asked

"I think we should see other people," said Annie

"WHY?!" Havoc asked

"Because I haven't been truthful with you," said Annie. "I'm a lesbian."

"Why did you lead me on then?" asked Havoc

"Cause I was attracted to you, and I wasn't used to feelings like that." Said Annie. "But it's over Jean."

"Alright," said Havoc, obviously devastated.

"I'm sorry," said Annie

"No you're not," said Havoc.

Annie hung up.

*******  
"Does anyone know where Lt Havoc is?" Asked Lt Hawkeye

"Yeah he got dumped again," said Lt Breda. "Probably still in bed."

"I knew that was going to happen," said Hawkeye

"Why, how?" asked Breda

"Because Annie prefers women," said Hawkeye

"How do you know that?" asked Breda

"Girl talk," said Hawkeye

"Oh," said Breda.

"Girls talk to each other, Breda," said Hawkeye

"I know," said Breda

"Then why do you sound so surprised that I talked to Annie?" Asked Hawkeye

"I dunno," said Breda

Hawkeye laughed and went back to her book.

"What you reading?" asked Breda

"Just some romance novel," said Hawkeye, "Its trash."

"Oh," said Breda. "If it's trash then why do you read it?"

"It's amusing because life is so not like this," said Hawkeye

"Oh," said Breda.

"Yeah," said Hawkeye.

"Did Havoc get dumped again?" Asked Roy walking into the office.

"Yeah," said Breda

"Grief effects his performance which effects me," said Roy. "One of you find a girl for Lt Havoc."

"What?" asked Breda.

"You heard me, that's your new mission," said Roy.

"I can't even find a girl for me," said Fallman

"That's your problem Fallman," said Roy

"Wait, Lt Hawkeye you're a girl," said Breda

"Yes," said Hawkeye. "I'm not going out with Havoc if that's what you are suggesting."

"Why not?" asked Breda

"He's not my type," said Hawkeye

"Oh, then do you know a girl that he'd like?" Breda asked

"I think I might," said Hawkeye. "What's he looking for in a woman?"

"Well at the Tavern before he met Annie he mentioned wanting a cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality," said Fallman

"Well I can't judge if she's cute or not because I am a heterosexual woman but I know a smart, funny girl with a good personality," said Hawkeye

"She your friend or something?" asked Breda

"Yeah you could say that," said Hawkeye

"Do you have a picture of her?" Breda asked

"No I don't think so," said Hawkeye

"Oh," said Breda.

El left her apartment at 10 that morning, when she, Al and Ed saw Leigh on the steps to the building.

"El, can you do me a favor?" Leigh asked

"Depends on what it is," said El

"Can you get Jean out of bed, he was supposed to be at HQ hours ago," said Leigh

"That's not like him," said El. "is everything alright?"

"I think he got dumped again," said Leigh

"Oh," said El. "I'll get him out of bed, and to HQ."

"Thank you, El," said Leigh, handing her the key to Jean's apartment.

"Ed, Al, stay down here and chat with Leigh, I'll be right back," said El

Ed nodded.

El let herself into Havoc's apartment.

"Jean," said El

She found him lying in his bed with the covers over his head. She pulled the covers from his head.

"You're not sleeping," she said

"I know," he said

"So you're not going to get out of bed?" El asked

"No," said Jean. "No reason to."

"You have work, dummy," said El

"They'll just make fun of me," said Jean

"I highly doubt Breda is going to make fun of you," said El. "If I have to drag you out this bed I will."

"Go ahead and try," said Jean.

El struggled but she managed to drag Jean out of bed. She then pinned him down using a very skillful wrestling maneuver.

"Now, get dressed," said El

"Make me," said Jean

"Really?" asked El.

"Fine I'll get dressed," said Jean. El got off him. And he got dressed. Buster then came barreling in the door, barking. "El can you feed Buster?"

"Yeah sure," said El.

"His food is on the bathroom shelf," said Jean

"Ok," said El as she got the food down and fed the small golden retriever.

"Ready to go?" Jean asked, a minute later. He was dressed in his uniform and ready to go.

"Yeah let's go," said El

They walked out the apartment and out of the building. Leigh was still talking to Ed and Al.

"How did you do it," asked Leigh

"She wrestled me out of bed," Said Jean

"Why didn't I think of that?" asked Leigh

"I don't know Mom," said Jean

"Just go to work," said Leigh

*******  
"Missing someone, Roy?" asked El

"Yeah Lt Havoc hasn't shown up yet," said Roy. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

El said nothing. "Right here, chief," said Havoc, walking through the door.

"You're late," said Roy

"I know, I'm sorry chief," said Havoc. "Couldn't get out of bed."

"So El had to wrestle you out," Roy guessed

"Yeah, how did you know that?" Havoc asked

"She used to do it to me after Ishbal," said Roy

"Oh," said Havoc

"Get to work, Havoc," said Roy. "Fullmetal you have meeting," he added upon seeing Ed.

"Brother, El and I will meet you in the mess hall when you're done," said Al.

"Okay," said Ed, as Al and El left for the mess hall.


End file.
